9 Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do to Gain Control of Their Partners

Has it ever occurred to you that the person you are dating is slightly self-absorbed? Welcome to the hidden narcissistic universe. Though they frequently go unnoticed, covert narcissists can have a profound effect on a relationship. Relationships can be silently destroyed by covert narcissism, which leaves partners feeling misunderstood, deceived, and in control.

If one wants to protect themselves from emotional hurt and deception, one must be aware of the intricacies of covert narcissistic behavior. This article explores the weird things that covert narcissists do to control their partners.

Let’s explore the murky waters of hidden covert narcissism.

Understanding Covert Narcissism

Though they might not brag out loud, covert narcissists have a deep desire for dominance and admiration.  They make a good living by using deceiving tactics and putting on a front of fake compassion.

When covert narcissism steps in, a complex series of issues hidden under a clever character is exposed. You should prepare for an emotional ride when you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist.

They can have quiet, lasting consequences, ranging from emotional manipulation to gaslighting. The first step to escaping the hold of covert narcissists is understanding how it affects relationships.

How Do They Exert Control Over Their Partner?

When it comes to manipulation and gaining control of their partners, they are pro at playing mind games. Their deceptive behavior patterns, emotional manipulation and gaslighting tactics can make their partners feel worthless and at their lowest self-esteem.

Let’s throw light on the weird things covert narcissists do to maintain their control in a relationship.

1.   Deceptive Behavior Pattern

Covert narcissists are skilled at telling lies, whether it be through sophisticated false narratives or white lies. Under the cover of innocence, they systematically construct a character that manipulates others into giving them what they want. You’ll probably cry as you get to know the lies and deception of covert narcissists.

Those who engage in covert narcissism are hypocrites. They are quick to condemn, criticize, or degrade someone they consider to be a threat to them. Regardless, of whether they share the same behavior or hold completely opposing views.

2.   Emotional Manipulation

Have you ever had the impression that your spouse is manipulating your emotions? Covert narcissists are experts at controlling situations themselves. They tend to control their partners by playing the victim, silent treatments, and guilt-tripping. To restore your emotional freedom, you must first recognize these emotional manipulation patterns.

You will receive constant reminders from covert narcissists that they are more important than you and that your demands are far less essential. They won’t tell you outright that you’re not important. Their actions will convey it, whether they are downplaying something that matters to you or ignoring your requests for them to help.

3.   Gaslighting

Narcissists use a sophisticated, deadly con game called “gaslighting,” which makes you doubt reality. If that is combined with psychological warfare techniques, it produces mental trauma. Gaslighting is more than just a tactic in books; it’s a strategy employed by covert narcissists to create doubt and confusion.

Gaslighters use the distortion of reality, fabrication of facts, and laying blame abroad in an attempt to control their partners’ thoughts and behavior. Keep your integrity intact, and don’t fall for your partner’s deceptive gaslighting tactics.

4.   Psychological Warfare Tactics

Their behavior is the same as in a chess match where they play their moves to gain control. Their techniques include pressure, threats, and deliberate attacks on their partners’ self-worth. Regaining your sense of self can be eased by understanding the psychological warfare techniques used by covert narcissists.

Equipped with an arrogant sense of intellectual superiority, covert narcissists use insults that mock their partner’s ideas, skills, and IQ to establish control. By maintaining their spouses’ feelings of insecurity and dependence, their continuous deception strengthens their hold.

5.   Isolating and Alienating Behavior

There may seem to be no way out from the mental trauma that accompanies being in a relationship with a covert narcissist. Their strategies of isolating and causing dependency are meant to keep you under their control.

Has your partner ever made you feel as though you’re losing touch with friends and family? By isolating their spouses and undermining their support systems, covert narcissists employ alienating tactics. They establish a feeling of loyalty exclusive to them by putting down thoughts of doubt and conflict.

6.   Creating Dependency and Isolation

Covert narcissists take great pleasure in making their relationships feel dependent on them. They maintain control over their relationships by quietly undermining their confidence and encouraging dependence on them.

To regain your freedom, you must recognize and escape this vicious cycle of isolation and dependence.

7.   The Facade of Empathy

Being able to fake empathy is one of the hallmark behaviors of covert narcissists. They’re great at projecting other people’s feelings onto themselves, giving their partners the impression that they genuinely understand them. But behind this mask exists a strategy of manipulation and control.

When they want to appear more competent, narcissists often change their environment. They will use their charm to achieve their goals at the cost of those around them. They believe they are better than everyone else, which gives them a false sense of entitlement and importance.

8.   Love-Bombing

Through love-bombing, covert narcissists get relationships off to a great start. They offer the impression of a close and personal connection by showcasing their partners with presents, compliments, and extravagant gestures of devotion.

Once they trapped their partners in their false masks, they started to exert control over every aspect of their spouse’s life. You should look out when your narcissistic partner is showing extra affection towards you. That is another one of their manipulation tactics.

9.   Financial Manipulation and Control Tactics

Financial control is one of the most powerful weapons in the toolbox of covert narcissists. They deprive their spouses of their independence and autonomy by keeping them reliant on finances and controlling everything from having access to money to their use of money.

To make sure their relationships depend on them for financial stability, covert narcissists deliberately cultivate a sense of dependence. As a result, it is more difficult for their partners to escape their hold on power as their dependence strengthens it. When it comes to intelligence, covert narcissists particularly enjoy playing mental games.

They distort reality, twist facts, and undermine their partner’s sense of reason and logic by using manipulation and gaslighting techniques, which makes them doubt their mental state.

Closing Thoughts

Early detection of the red flags and warning signs is vital for fighting covert narcissistic behavior. Keep an eye out for manipulative patterns, a lack of empathy, gaslighting, and a slow decline of your self-worth. When in doubt, follow your gut and get help. However, navigating a relationship with a covert narcissist can be difficult and confusing.

You can restore feelings of autonomy and self-worth by becoming aware of the odd behaviors and deceptive strategies covert narcissists use. It is our goal to enable people to recognize and escape the grip of narcissistic relationships by bringing these weird things to light.

Never forget that you are worthy of a relationship based on sincere love, respect, and honesty. Stay vigilant, follow your gut, and put your emotional health before anything else.